Every time I board a plane that uses a jetway, I get a little nervous right at that gap between the end of the jetway ramp and the beginning of the plane fuselage. You know, that space of just a few inches to several feet that you need to leap across to leave the safety of the terminal and enter the insane asylum of the jet. If you look down -- which you shouldn't do, and which I do every time -- you can see that it is at least 20 feet, maybe even a couple of hundred feet, to the ground. If you don't make that gap, wham, down you go, and on this trip no complimentary peanuts for you. So this whole crazy notion of relying on manmade contraptions to leap across chasms came to me again as I faced the zip line at Skyline EcoEdventures in Lahaina, Maui. But instead of a small gap, we're talking hundreds or maybe more than a thousand feet to cross. I don't know about you, but most days I cannot jump this far.
Enter the zipline! What is it? Well it is a single thin cable strung between two poles across a valley of unimaginable height where you can make out a few broken skulls and bones far, far below you. Then you let a couple of guys you just met strap a bunch of things on you (in a way that doesn't seem to make much sense unless you are 2 years old and your mother does not want you to stray too far from her), hook you to that cable, and fling you across the gulches and valleys of West Maui. And you know what?
It's actually a lot of fun! And definitely makes you feel safer about dangling above the ground than any plane I've been on recently. In fact, I think I'll start a new business to compete with those dang airline companies. It will be called Zip Air. We will string cables coast-to-coast, and across the Pacific. We hook you on in Honolulu, give you a gentle push, and you slide all the way to San Francisco, snug in your little harness and with a bottle of water and safety helmet to boot, no extra charge. Bring your own iPod (but you already do that anyway don't you?).
The reason I was on this Skyline Eco-Adventures zipline in Ka'anapali, Maui, was because my brother Bob and his wife Ann had already done the version over on Haleakala. So right away you astute readers can tell that some people do actually survive the experience. The newer one over on the West side has more lines (8 all told) and more zip for your dollar. It's also kind of an educational experience, because at the launch pad for each of the 8 lines there is a sign telling you something about the ahupua'a (ancient Hawaiian land division) through which you will be flying. I say "kind of educational" because the printing on the signs is a little small, and frankly when you are shaking with fear that you may soon be dangling upside down with your pants around your head it is a little hard to read.
Fortunately our two guides were kind enough to explain the essence of these Hawaiian historical facts to us, just before pushing us off into the void. These guys really did seem to enjoy their work, and I envied the way they could fly off those ramps, upside down, twirling around, landing backwards, no hands, and all that kind stuff. They do a great job in hot conditions with a lot of folks who are too nervous to do much other than scream back at them. Helmets off to Skyline Eco-Adventures guides! And yes there is a tip jar at the end.
The views of Lanai across the bay are superb, the lunch was pretty darn good, and before taking off we were not made to wait on the runway for hours on end until the mechanic finished the paper work for reattaching the pilot's sunglass lanyard.
That's my kind of fun, and it should be yours, too.
Check 'em out at http://www.zipline.com